


Like A Piece of Paper

by notsincerely



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Abuse, Drowning, M/M, Overdose, Physical Abuse, Sexual Abuse, Suicide, Verbal Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-14
Updated: 2017-01-14
Packaged: 2018-09-17 12:46:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9324227
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notsincerely/pseuds/notsincerely
Summary: He screwed everything up. It was his fault. But I still find myself blaming me.





	

Dan met him when he was fifteen.

He had joined a gay dating website, one that was sort of shady and mostly consisted of creepy 50-year-old men looking for cute twinks (like Dan). But it had been recommended by one of his 'friends' (meaning one of the only boys that didn't pummel him when learning that he was gay) and he figured why not try?

For the first few months, Dan had little to no progress. All the men were either older men looking for pictures to wank to or sugar daddies looking for a sugar baby (which he honestly was not interested in).

Dan had considered deleting his account and trying another website when he met him.

He, unlike many others, was only 27 when Dan first spoke to him. It had been the older man, whose name Dan learned to be Sam, who messaged him first.

The first messages had been quite cute and often made Dan blush a bright red. Sam called him baby, lovely, beautiful and other names of affection.

They skyped daily as well and often talked about meeting irl. Sam lived in the US and Dan was stuck in Reading, so Sam told him that when he had the money, he would fly to London and Dan could meet him there.

Every moment with Sam made Dan feel like he was floating on air and filled his stomach with butterflies. Dan truly and honestly believed that he was falling in love and he'd like to think Sam felt the same.

Then things started to go downhill.

It started small. A few dirty messages from Sam, asking for nude pictures of Dan. Dan declined, stating that he wasn't ready for that. Sam backed off but seemed a bit distant and bitter when they had skyped that night.

Then things began to escalate. Sam would demand pictures and when Dan declined, Sam would threaten to leave him, saying that if Dan truly loved him then Dan would do this for him.

He would lie to Dan, saying that no one but him would ever love Dan. Finally, the younger boy gave in and sent him a few revealing pictures.

Sam would praise him whenever he sent the pictures, telling him that he was beautiful and then send videos and pictures of himself, often jerking off.

It made Dan rather uncomfortable, but he didn't want to disappoint Sam. So he continued sending the dirty pictures and texts.

Then Sam would make Dan jerk off on Skype in front of him. He would tell Dan how he was a pretty boy, how beautiful he looked and how pretty his cock was. Other times, he would make Dan use a vibrator or a butt plug or finger himself. He hated it, but it made Sam happy so he went along with it. Most of the time, Dan cried after the call ended. He didn't want to, but Sam told him that he loved Dan and if Dan loved him, then he would do it. So Dan would rub and tease himself when Sam wanted. He loved him after all.

Dan met Phil about 6 months after meeting Sam. He had been a fan of Phil's YouTube channel (AmazingPhil) and finally gotten Phil to notice him.

The two had very much in common. They liked the same music, the same bands, the same shows. They would chat on Twitter, talking about everything and anything.

Dan had even told Phil about Sam. Although he hadn't mentioned the sexual acts they had done, he had told Phil all about how 'great' Sam was. Phil nodded and smiled, but was distant for some reason.

As his friendship with Phil grew, his relationship with Sam shrunk. Sam would berate him when Dan made him angry, which seemed to be more and more often lately, calling Dan stupid, worthless, ugly.

But it turned into a living hell when Dan turned 18.

A few days after Dan's birthday, Sam informed him that he was moving to London. And Dan was going to live with him, no questions asked. The younger had no choice in the matter.

He managed to convince his parents with a few lies.

"I'll be fine."

"It's completely safe."

"I trust him with my life."

"I'll visit soon."

And then Dan was living in a medium-sized flat with Sam.

Phil had known he was moving as well. He had suggested a small visit sometime, but Dan politely declined. He claimed that Sam got very jealous very easily and might get angry. Phil had just gone along with it, but Dan knew that Phil suspected something was up.

Life with Sam, again, a living hell. For a few days, he seemed happy and loving towards the eighteen-year-old. Then Dan started to get on his nerves. Sam told him he was too needy when he asked for help, told him he was too stupid when he couldn't figure out bills (no one had ever taught him) and told him he was useless when he started dinner late.

The sexual abuse continued as well. But now instead of vibrators and jerking off, Sam would force him to have sex nearly every night. The first time was the worst, Sam was anything but gentle. Dan cried and screamed and Sam threatened him. "If anyone hears you scream" he would whisper "I'll really give you a reason to scream." Dan would nod and choke back his tears, saving them for when Sam fell asleep.

Sam also liked to do more hardcore things and Dan hated it. Sam would make Dan call him daddy and would tie him up, making him beg and cry. Sam would call him "Kitten", make him meow, wear cat ears, and a butt plug with a tail attached. Those times were the worst. He would have to drink and eat out of bowls on the floor, would have to be completely naked for Sam to see, and be locked up in a cage when he was 'naughty'. There were some things that Dan didn't even want to remember, memories that caused him horrible nightmares.

New with the home, came physical abuse. Now that Dan and Sam were in the same place, Sam could hit and kick and beat Dan. Sometimes, he even went so far as to cut him or burn him. Like once, when Dan accidentally broke a glass, Sam had cut him seventeen times. One for each piece of glass.

Dan had also been put on a 'diet' (meaning, the only food he ate during the day was a piece of fruit for breakfast, and dinner that evening. If he was lucky, Sam might give him a granola bar for lunch).

Sometimes, when Dan really messed up (like when Dan forgot to lock the door as he and Sam went on a date) he was locked in a small cupboard at the end of the hall. The cupboard was short and very compact, leaving Dan to develop a very bad case of claustrophobia.

In short, Dan was stuck living with a monster and several times he wished that he was dead.

But Phil was there.

Phil told Dan jokes that made him laugh and said things that made him smile. Sam would go to work (as Dan was not allowed outside of the flat) and Dan and Phil would Skype. There were also a few times where Sam would leave their flat to go to a bar or some sort of nightclub (sometimes bringing home strangers) and again, the two would chat. It would last hours, the two talking about video games, TV shows, anything. Dan would cover up with some makeup Sam would buy for him (one of the only things he would get to himself) and Phil would think everything was okay.

Until one day, everything went wrong.

Sam had been particularly cruel that day. Dan had broken yet another plate (his hands were constantly shaking) and Sam had decided to lock him in the cupboard after beating him black, blue, and red. He hadn't eaten any food that day, as it was only 10:00 am and he usually ate at 10:30. His stomach growled at him, but he ignored it. He was used to ignoring it by now.

"Daaannnyyy" Sam's voice echoed through the apartment. "Danny, I have a question for you." Sam was now outside of the closet door and Dan jumped, as the lock began to open.

"Y-yes Sam?" Dan cursed himself for stuttering, Sam hated that.

However, he seemed to not even notice that Dan had stuttered. He wore a sickeningly sweet grin on his face and in his left arm, he held Dan's laptop.

Oh no. Please no. Please tell me he didn't find...

"Danny, who is Philly huh?" Sam said, a hint of malice in his overly sweet voice.

No no no no no.

"Danny? Answer me. Who is Phil? Is he your boyfriend? But Danny, I'm your boyfriend. You can't have two boyfriends, silly." Sam had backed Dan up against a wall and Dan nearly screamed. "I'm going to ask you one more time and I expect an answer from that whore mouth of yours. Who. Is. Phil."

"No o-one sir. Just an f-f-friend." Dan used the title he was taught, so long ago.

"A friend?" Sam said. "You don't get any friends. You don't deserve any friends. Unless....you didn't go behind my back, Danny? You directly disobeyed me, slut. Tell me, were you putting on a show for him? Like you used to do for me? That was so long ago Danny." Sam patronized him, using words he knew would hurt Dan. "No sir."

"You've been so naughty, Daniel." Sam continued to speak, ignoring Dan. "Such a bad boy. And what happens to bad boys?"

"They-They get punished, sir."

"Exactly, my slutty pet. Go change kitten. You better be ready by the time I get there. You're already in enough trouble as it is." Dan gulped harshly and ran into Sam's bedroom, where all of his 'toys' sat in a drawer. Dan nearly cried as he pulled the drawer open, and a few dripped down his face when he grabbed his tail.

Dan was quickly dressed, in cat ears, a tail, paws, and a collar. Not a moment after he finished, Sam walked in.

"Look at you, pretty slut. At least you can do something right. Now, on the bed, legs spread." Dan scrambled onto Sam's bed. These were the only times he was allowed a bed, especially when he was playing pet. Sam tied his arms and legs out, so he was stretched in all directions with no control over his limbs.

"Now, pretty kitty. I've got a surprise for you. Come on in boys." Dan watched, as about four men walked into the room.

Dan really, really wanted to die.

The next morning....

Dan woke up groggy. He was still tied to the bed spread, but his tail was thrown somewhere on the floor and his cat ears weren't on his head anymore. His throat ached, begging for even the smallest bit of water. Dan could see the outline of a man walk into the bedroom.

"You did so well, little slut. Impressed all of my friends. You even passed out, such a bad boy. You can get up now whore if you've learned your lesson."

Some words sounded foggy and grumbled, but Dan understood most of it. However, the boy could barely move. Sam had untied him and left him there, to get up himself. Dan slowly sat up, a sharp pain shooting up his back. Dan winced as he dressed in the clothes from yesterday.

The door slammed, indicating that Sam had left for work. Dan needed out. He needed to leave.

Sam had fixed the door, so there were two locks. One on the outside, another on the inside. One to keep people out, and another, to keep Dan in. Dan found a note on the counter, addressed to him.

Danny,   
Don't try looking for your laptop. And if I ever find you talking to Phil again, there will be hell to pay.

The note was short, but the threat was honest and Dan wanted to scream and cry. He had lost his only light, his only hope and saw no point to life anymore.

Dan wanted to end it all so bad. But Sam wasn't kind enough to let him die. The knives and pills and anything he could use sat in a cupboard, with a lock placed on it. The windows also remained locked, and any other way Dan could think of was blocked somehow. Dan wasn't sure what to do anymore.

But after a few minutes of rash thinking, Dan knew. The bath. He could end it all. He could finally die.

Dan saw it. Sam's laptop. Sat on the counter. Completely open and logged in. Dan knew it was probably a trap, but at the moment, he didn't really care. He was so tired. So hungry. So done with life. He had a way now. The bath. So simple, easy. All he had to do was hold his head under water and he would die.

He didn't want Sam to bury him, though. He wanted Phil.

So, using Sam's computer, Dan sent Phil one last message.

I'm sorry Phil. This is goodbye. I love you.

Dan slipped his address in the last part of the message, knowing that Phil would get there too late.   
After the message read sent Dan made his way to the bathroom in Sam's room, the only one with a bath. Usually, Sam would lock it, but maybe he had forgotten this morning.

Switching the light on, Dan stared at the empty bathtub. Adrenaline filled his chest and Dan could barely contain the insane joy he felt. He was free. Finally fucking free.

Dan watched as the water flowed into the bath and he grinned. Filling it nearly to the top, Dan decided he would leave his clothes on. They might help weigh him down in the water.

Dan stepped into the tub, water up to his knees when he stood up. He grinned an insane grin, a grin that matched the insanity of what was swirling around his head. 

"Goodbye, world. It wasn't so nice knowing you."

and his head went under the water.

**Author's Note:**

> so...that happened.


End file.
